How I went from burnout to enjoying work to the fullest.
I achieved a lot. But I wasn't doing well, because I had stopped feeling.
I scaled a SaaS to over one million in revenue and raised a mid six-figure round. I co-founded an agency, took it to its first million within a year, and hired twenty people. I started my first business at fifteen, because I understood how Instagram works: grow an audience, monetize it. Alongside all of this I studied computer science and finished my master's in machine learning. I have an IQ of 155.
Sounds great, right? But what I didn't tell you:
- I was sick for almost ten years.
- At 23, I had a burnout with panic attacks.
It was great. But I also started having a problem: I could not really switch off. I did fewer and fewer things for myself, and my head was constantly thinking about work.
And I never saw what I had already reached. I measured myself against the plan, not against where I started. And the plan always says: look at everything that's still missing.
I couldn't not push. I couldn't not solve. I couldn't rest without earning it first.
I ignored the signs for years. I had a plan, and logically everything made sense. Until I burned out.
My logic was so strong that it ran 24/7. And you cannot think and feel at the same time. Talking about feelings, analyzing them: that is logic. It is not feeling. I was describing the water without ever getting wet.
Why is feeling so difficult?
And I'm not the only one. Maybe you know this:
- You've achieved everything you wanted. And you're still not happy.
- You just can't switch off.
- You can't be proud of yourself, and you keep chasing the next goal.
- Deep down, you're afraid you could lose everything you've built.
- You keep falling back into the old pattern, even though you try so hard.
- Your friends and your partner feel that sometimes you're not really there. Or they can't feel you.
- Your whole life, you were the one who worked hard and was successful. If you did something different now, what would everyone think? And what would you think?
I always explain it like this. Imagine a situation triggers you, and your emotions come flying in like bees. If you let them come, if you just feel them, it is like bees flying through an open glass. They fly in, they fly out. Done.
But most of your life you decided: nah, not now, no time for this. That is like catching the bees in the glass, closing the lid, shaking it, storing it somewhere in your body and acting like it is not there.
Do that ten thousand times, and you carry ten thousand glasses of bees in your body.
And that is why feeling feels so dangerous now: opening up means facing ten thousand glasses at once. That is scary. The longer you refuse to feel your emotions, the harder it gets. And the more you disconnect from your body.
Your body is not stupid. It sends you signs:
- Headaches
- Getting sick more often
- Burnout
- Depression
Your body is trying to tell you: hello, we need to feel. HELLOOO.
But you think: I just need more control. Push harder. A better plan. Hit the gym, eat healthy, stay structured, make money, then I'll feel better. The more structure, the better. Logically it makes sense. It is the wrong turn.
How you come back to feeling.
Only about ten percent of your mind is conscious. Ninety percent runs unconscious. When you go to the bathroom, you (hopefully) wash your hands automatically. Try changing that with willpower alone: you would need to be present and in control every single time, forever. Really hard.
The easier way: go into the unconscious mind, back to the first situation where the pattern was learned, and reprogram it there. Then the change happens automatically, without pushing harder.
“No pain, no gain is bullshit. No pain, a lot of gain is the truth.”
So that is what we do. We go back to the first situation where you started to unlearn how to feel. Where you unlearned how to send yourself love. Maybe the situation where you learned there is nobody to protect you, so you have to solve everything alone.
Brainspotting
Where you look changes what you feel. Sounds strange, I know. We use it to find where an old pattern sits in you, and let it go.
Breathwork
Your breath is the one part of your nervous system you can steer yourself. We use it to get you out of your head and into your body.
Qigong
Slow, simple movement. Sounds boring. It is the opposite. It brings you back into your body, so feeling has somewhere to land.
Certified in Brainspotting · Breathwork teacher · Qigong facilitator. This is not therapy and no medical treatment.
Brainspotting, breathwork and qigong changed my life. From complete autopilot to one of the most resilient, strongest people I know. And because I can now combine logic and feeling, I am extremely good at helping you do the same.
Today I understand what fulfils me: building things like this page, and everything else I build. And I enjoy my work to the fullest.
The only thing I need from you: the feeling that you are ready and want to try it.